This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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