so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize