i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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