i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
