READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize