Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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