Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
