I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize