K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
So. Much. Porn.
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