Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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