Jerry, you need to find god
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
