If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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