Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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