Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
