Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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