Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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