there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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