Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize