I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
