I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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