she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
