Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
