I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
