Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
