Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize