we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Randomize
