he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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