He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
