You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
