And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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