we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
