I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Randomize
