Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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