wat bout pragnant strippers??
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
