I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
