When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize