no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
