5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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