It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize