I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
