discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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