"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
