All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize