Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
