Your mouth is God's brothel.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
