She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
