A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
