I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
