just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize