I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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