Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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