Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
