She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
