so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
