I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
