i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize