Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
