I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
