You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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