she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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