I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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