you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
