i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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