Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize