I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
