hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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